Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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