What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
