Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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