Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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