Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Randomize
