I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
