Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
