i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
