Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
