We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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