i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Randomize
