If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
