you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
