My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
