i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
