Jerry, you need to find god
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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