office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
