I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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