i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
