So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
