At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
