Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
