Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
