i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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