Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
