We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize