they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
