At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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