No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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