Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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