It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
