I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Randomize
