so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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