i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
