You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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