Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
