Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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