Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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