Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
