So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
