Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
We left the knife in your bed.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
