Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize