Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
