I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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