do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize