yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
