I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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