this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
