after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
