Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
