So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize