So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
