YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
