the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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