Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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