If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Randomize
