i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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